Posts
Women2Women April Community Café - Dealing with Adversity and Helping Children and Parents Overcome Trauma
Fathers and Families Coalition of America introduces two exceptional monthly café conversations that focus on positive change as well as finding a cause bigger than self. We host three café programs that were born out of advancing coalition building. Our meetings promote community-based interventions, research, and build community-wide awareness of essential topics for sustaining healthier children and families. FFCA is continuously seeking to strive for excellence with diverse partnerships for profound change and provide a structure for connecting people.
This blog is an introduction to the two leaders of the Women2Women Community Café movement. The Saturday, April 25th, Women2Women Community Café is an open kick-off to every woman in the globe. Ms. Sylvia Rodriguez and Mrs. Sheila Smith will facilitate this first of many Saturday morning connections with guest speakers starting at 9:30 a.m. California time that has an expected 45 minutes to a one-hour community gathering. We come together through the use of technology and bridging the needs and insights of women through FFCA's realtime video and or teleconference system that allows you to be fully engaged.
April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, and we will end April with a powerful session that you can join by texting Women2Women to 31-996 or email us
Women2Women April Community Café - Dealing with Adversity and Helping Children and Parents Overcome Trauma
Has adversity or trauma steered any decisions you have made in life? Exposure to abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, divorce, or poverty, creates residual effects can impact the way you think, believe, and function in life. in 2017, over 4 million American children were abused. * Four out of five of all abused children are abused by their parents. Neglect is often labeled as a common form of abuse, with approximately 75% of parents or caretakers failing to provide adequate food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and supervision for children. However, poverty does not equal neglect and abuse or the need for community food and housing assistance. One in ten children will also be the victim of sexual abuse before their 18th birthday. Darkness to Light sheds why we need to gather for our daughters and young girls in our neighborhoods as follows:
Key Findings
"About 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before they turn 18 *,+
About 1 in 7 girls and 1 in 25 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18*
It is estimated that 7-12% of children are sexually abused*
As many as 400,000 babies born in the U.S. this year will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday unless we do something to stop it*,+ >"
Abuse does not stop with children, though. One in four women and one in nine men have experienced severe intimate partner physical violence. *** This abuse of severe mental or physical pain induces trauma, which can adversely impact the rest of a person’s life if they do not get the support and resources to recover.
Sheila Hadassah Smith, who worked in the medical field, before going into full-time ministry in California, experienced substantial adversity. At nine months old, she was adopted by hard-working parents, who exposed her to their alcohol and domestic violence problems. Smith became a single mother at age 19, and her mother died suddenly when she was 21. This adversity and trauma led to her self-medicating by drinking and getting high. Smith married at age 22 and had two more children before her 37-year marriage ended in divorce.
Smith says we can help children and parents recover from adversity and trauma, “By having open and open, honest communication with them. I would ask them, ‘What happened?’ rather than, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ I was relatable for connection and supported them.” Smith shared that “Life coaching, the 12-step program, church, and missionary work became her biggest resources to healing trauma and overcoming adversity.” Today Smith is happily married and is the President of Eagles Landing Corporation.
I also spoke with Sylvia Rodriguez, AMFT, a clinical therapist in Los Angeles county, about helping children and parents overcome adversity and trauma. She said, “When I was raising my two children, it was a process that involved being attuned to what was effective for each child to thrive.” Rodriguez was exposed to adversity and generational trauma, growing up in her community. “In the 1970s, there were many reports of homicide, predators abusing children, community violence, and crime. The homelessness, substance abuse, human trafficking, and untreated mental health disorders, and reentry populations from incarceration and post-war are possibly a dramatic increase.”
The skills, support, and resources; Ms. Rodriguez found to be helpful to children and parents were, “Education-informing them about trauma. Having them utilize local mental health facilities, such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and peer mentors who have overcome adversity already.” Rodriguez shares that one way she, “Helps children who experience trauma, is to ground themselves, by identifying the sensations in their body. This brings their focus to the present moment, helping them navigate through it.”
Smith says women can help support other women, “By being a good listener, when we are transparent, honest, loving and caring and not judgmental. Women are so hurt about their lives. We should ask women, ‘How can I help you?’ ‘How can I serve you?’ She also advises, “We should know our place with other women, so we don’t become co-dependent, but rather be the role of mentor, friend, or professional.”
Rodriguez echoes that in helping other women, “It is a women’s responsibility to leave a legacy, becoming a conduit to help other women get to the next level. Give them resources, share our strengths, and pass on our knowledge to empower the next generation, when adversity comes to them. It’s important to stay connected and be attuned to each other.”
Adversity is a human condition that will affect all of us, but abuse does not have to be if we anchor into supporting each other with resources, knowledge, and love.
Written by Elisabeth Davies, MC
Counselor and Author of Good Things Emotional Healing Journal: Addiction
*National Children’s Alliance
**Darkness to Light. Two Decades of Preventing Child Sexual Abuse
*** National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
