Why Create Fatherhood Programs for Young Parents in America?
When you look at how the structure of the American family has evolved over the last few decades, we see a picture of relentless shape shifting in intimate relationships. The notion of “family” and “home life” continues to transform especially when childhood traumas and challenges impact its development. There are a wide range of types of family set ups that are vastly different to the “old-fashioned” family of two parents living together with their children. This “ideal” seems totally out of reach for many parents in 2017.
Unmarried Parents
In the US our married, divorced and remarrying statistics are the highest compared to any other developed country. There are also many more unmarried mothers with a massive 41% of children now coming into this world out of wedlock. When we look at the ever-widening gap in income and opportunity we see that 57% with high school diplomas or less are unmarried when they give birth for the first time.
Challenges for Young Fathers
Young Black, Hispanic, Native American and Asian American parents, in the 18 to 24-year age group, who have been brought up in financially challenged households where they experienced trauma and adversity can struggle with the demands of parenting. Every year around 750,000 women under the age of 20 have children which means that 750,000 men become fathers. Of these men only 2 out of 10 will marry the mother of their child. These teen fathers have a high incidence of dropping out of school before completing their GED. They will also only pay about $800 annually for child support. The children who don’t grow up with their fathers at home are five times more likely to be living in poverty.
Embracing Responsible Fatherhood
There is evidence that shows that young fathers would like to be part of their child’s life but don’t know how to navigate the process. This is where Fatherhood programs come in to assist these men with positive involvement in their children’s lives. A great fatherhood program strives to help fathers deal with their own shortcomings that are stopping them from becoming responsible fathers.
These challenges could involve:
- Inability to keep a job and pay bills
- Physical health problems
- Drug/Alcohol abuse
- Physical abuse or neglect of their children
- Lack of money to buy things for their children
- Inability to pay child support
Absent Fathers Affect Children’s Health
Currently around 24 million children in the US do not live with their biological fathers and in some communities the father absence rates are close to 80%. This situation negatively impacts a child’s health and well-being. Programs that encourage a father’s involvement in their children’s lives will have a direct impact on the child’s health. Parenting programs often focus on giving support to the mothers and rarely target men, even though the evidence shows that the father’s presence will improve the child’s development. There is a pervasive gender bias thinking that intimates that fathers are not as important as mothers when it comes to raising a child. Fatherhood programs attempt to redress this imbalance.
The Effects of Childhood Trauma
A staggering statistic says that the presence of a child’s biological father in the home lowers the likelihood that the child will be abused as they often play a “protector” role for their children. When a child experiences trauma in their home and have grown up in a toxic environment, they can display debilitating behavior in adulthood which in turn will negatively impact their own children. There are “Acting-In” behaviors that manifest as passive violence towards themselves. They engage in alcohol or drug abuse, overwork or underwork, eating and sleep disorders, depression, numbness, anxiety, self-blame, shame and self-mutilation. They can even experience extreme health conditions like high blood pressure, digestive problems, headaches, non-epileptic seizures and chronic pain. When trauma results in “Acting-Out” behaviors they can engage in active violence. This is where we witness child abuse, domestic violence, criminal activity, repetitive conflicts, difficulty with intimacy, lack of empathy towards others, inflexibility and the list goes on.
Children who grow up in environments where the father is absent and where there are parents who are still in the throes of dealing with their own traumatic childhoods are more likely to turn to drugs. Alcohol and drugs serve as a surrogate for the lack of love from an absent father. They can also experience mental health issues as early as one-month-old where they are plagued by night terrors and sleeplessness. Children without a father present show higher levels of aggression than children growing up in homes where both parents are bringing up the child. A child who has a father who is incarcerated is 7 times more likely to follow the same path.
Stopping Negative Cycles
Responsible Fatherhood programs for this 18-24-year old group helps with stopping the cycle of abuse and trauma to improve the overall well-being of the parents and most especially the children. Helping fathers understand the impact their absence is having on the health and wellbeing of their children is a vital component of Fatherhood programs.
If you would like to become a Fatherhood Life Coach, the Fathers & Families Coalition of America offers professional development with their Fatherhood Life Coach Certification. If you are already a Fatherhood Life Coach, the 19th Annual Fathers & Families National 2018 Conference takes place in Los Angeles on February 19-23 and welcomes all of those who are interested in improving the lives of children. Join us, registration is now open.
I personally look forward to your attendance at Greater Purpose-2018. Below is a listing of some of a few of our special speakers! Come together for #GreaterPurpose to improve strategies, curriculums, skills for effective services for families. bit.ly/2gFJDuk
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TALK PRESENTATIONS-GENERAL MORNING SESSIONS
Director Alisha Griffin, State of California Department of Child Support Services
Camille Maben, Executive Director of First 5 California
Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario, ReCapturing the Vision, Miami, Florida
Anthony Mossburg, Columbus, Ohio
Debra Samples, Regional Program Manager, US Department of Health and Human Services - Administration for Children and Families - Children's Bureau, Region 9, San Francisco, California
Rick Miller, Founder, Kids at Hope, Phoenix, Arizona
Professor Thalia González, JD., Occidental College, Los Angeles, California
Kimberly Dent, Executive Director of the Ohio Commission on Fatherhood, Columbus, Ohio
George Stewart, II, Educator, Mississippi Public Education and author of the inspiring book, "Words of Wisdom for My Son"
U.S. Department of Education (Invited)
Lisa M. Najavits, PhD, Professor of Psychiatry, Boston University School of Medicine - Seeking Safety Author
Mr. Walter Simpkins, Community Fathers, Inc., Schenectady, New York
U.S. Office of Child Support Enforcement (invited)
Ronald B. Mincy, Ph.D., Maurice V. Russell Professor of Social Policy and Social Work Practice, Columbia University, New York
Obie Clayton, Jr., PhD., The Edmund Asa Ware Distinguished Professor and Chair of Sociology and Criminal Justice at Clark Atlanta University
Jeffery M. Leving, LTD, The Law Offices of Jeffery M. Leving, Chicago, Illinois
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